Semi-Charmed Life

Disconnecting People

Thu, 26 Mar 2009 07:13:43 GMT

We got screwed over by PLDT this week.

The PLDT repair man came over a couple of days ago, saying the telephone lines here in Tierra Pureza were damaged. For some strange reason or the other, though, only our phone line wasn’t working, but everyone else in our entire subdivision’s was fine and dandy.

So, anyway, they proceeded to cut both our phone lines and, consequently, our DSL.

Now, I couldn’t really give a flying fuck about having no landline, but hello, no Internet for a week – especially during hell week where most of our online submissions were due and most of my research had to be done (through my good friends Google and Wikipedia) – was absolute hell.

For one, we missed our thesis submission because I didn’t have Internet at home and Elsie was busy. This was at around 9 PM so SC was closing and/or populated with boys playing DOTA and/or watching porn.

When I went to Flapjacks Technohub – which usually had the most reliable wifi in this area – their network was down.

When I went to Starbucks, it was down too.

I had to finally go all the way to Kourtyard in Katipunan, park illegally in front of some dodgy flower shop and buy god-awful coffee for a ridiculously unreasonable price. But they had good wifi. At that point in time, I would have sold my soul for any kind of wifi.

Anyway, for the past couple of days, I found a temporary solution: steal my neighbors’ wifi. This has led to some strange strategies, like waving my laptop in the air in search for that weak signal. Or standing in front of my window, with one hand supporting my laptop and the other, trying in vain to type a decent email. Or using my laptop in bed, backwards, with the computer resting precariously on the headboard because for some weird reason, it had strong signal there and only there.

Grabe. Poverty talaga.

At ang pinakamalaking insulto of all, when I switched on my wifi connector today, I found out that my neighbor changed his wireless network’s name from “Home” to “LEECHERSNOTALLOWED.”

Tangina niya talaga, feeling ba niya nag-e-enjoy ako sa pagnakaw ng wifi niya? Eh ang bagal-bagal ng Internet connection niya eh! Pero shet, as in, para talagang pinagdiinan niya talaga kung gaano ka kaderder ang pagka-grepa ko that day.

If it wasn’t so humiliating, I would actually maybe find it funny.

Finally, though, the PLDT dude came around again to fix our phone lines and our Internet. Akala ko talaga tapos na ang pagdurusa ko.

BUT NO. Bawal ang tanga, pero mali ang in-assign niya sa aming number! Our landline is 932… but he put in 954…

I know right, how could you even mix those numbers up? I mean, sure, they both start with a “9” but, seriously, HOW?

This also means that, as of right now, all the calls to that 954… number are being coursed to our house. You have no idea how many calls we had to turn down, saying, “No, wala po talagang Patrick dito.” Kung sino nalang talaga yung Patrick na yun, sorry nalang siya kung nag-aabang siya ng tawag.

At minura pa kami ng isang persistent caller dahil tama naman daw talaga ang number na dina-dial niya pero lagi daw kami ang nakukuha niya. Sorry naman, diba. Sige nga, i-try mo i-explain ang context ng sitwasyon naming. So, naturally, binabaan ko nalang siya. Bahala siyang maghanap kay Patrick.

Huhu, ang hirap talaga. “Ang hirap-hirap” (Curtis, 2008).

At bawal sabihin sa’king, “Kayanin mo, para kayanin ko din” (Rosales, 2008), dahil putangina, hindi nga kinaya ni Celso ang digmaan diba? (SPOILER ALERT) Hindi ba pagtakbo ni Feliza sa loob ng simbahan ng Baler noong ending, all happy and hopeful, ay chinugi na pala ng di oras si Celso ng isang walang-career na artistang si Jao Mapa? So, ang tieback sa pagkahaba-habang entry na ito, therefore, ay love does not conquer all.

The Buzz!

Mon, 12 Jan 2009 14:25:49 GMT

To my debate friends / non-friends / sana-friends / Fezbook friends:

Kung may issues ka nung PIDC, pwes, huwag mong itago. May PIDC na.

Love,
Claire

Showbiz akech!

Tue, 02 Dec 2008 05:06:32 GMT

In my head, my life is like Baler.

"Ang hirap. Ang hirap-hirap" (Curtis, 2008).

Bakit ba hindi pwedeng mag-graduate nalang ako? Matapos ng college at magtrabaho? Bakit ba may naimbento pang thesis?

Thesis is like, this... this thing hanging over your head and you just can't stop fussing about it, and you open the file on your desktop and you just stare at it blankly and edit punctuation marks and a couple of words but you can never really start.

We have to overhaul our RRL, restart our theoretical framework, edit the methodology, then write interview letters and send them out to our sources and literally beg them to give us a scoop somewhere in between their Christmas break and normal, working lives.

Oh, and then we have to write a three-part series fit for publication, whore it to a newspaper and/or convert back to Christianity and offer a novena and eggs to a holy figure so we get published.

I am way behind schedule, it's so frightening. And for once, I absolutely cannot be late (I know, right) because, well, the consequence is not graduating. And I cannot not graduate on time APSDOIAPSIDRPWEIPIWEDQA, I am made of so much fail.

I think this is the reason why I have been drinking too much this year. (I can now say that Raymund has made me a moderator on the Tomato Kick Drunkards Fezbook group).

Okay, this is where I end my Senior Moment outburst, dahil kailangan "strong woman ka" (Zosa, 2008).

Dahil ang sagot nga naman ni Jericho Rosales (2008) sa quote ni Anne Curtis sa itaas ay: "Kayanin mo, Felisa, para kayanin ko din."

Tangkilikin po natin ang pelikulang Filipino. Bow.

From this point on, I stop counting

Mon, 03 Nov 2008 16:30:04 GMT

twenteen

Yes, I'm still in denial.

The Last NDC

Sun, 02 Nov 2008 16:45:33 GMT

I think NDC Davao is my most difficult tournament to blog about - to process and accept, even. Like, I know it's special and momentous because it's the last. It's one national tournament down, and I have only only one to go before I finally retire. But I can't believe I ended my NDC record with such a strange showing. I know this is the best performance I've had so far, this is the farthest I've reached, etc. But it's all so MEH.

Maybe I still haven't changed my mindset from The Horrible Pre-Davao Week (yes, it's still that epic for me that it's a capitalized event). I was - and still am - expecting NDC 10 to be, well, at least not that much of a jarring, struggling, vengeful, bitter and angry tournament experience.

But whatevs, kebs na sa sentimentality. Who cares about feelings? Whenever I get all nostalgic and mopey, I keep hearing Jovan speak in my head, yelling at me, "Brohelda ka, 'day!" And then I stop because I crack up laughing.

My karma ran over your dogma
The road to NDC 10 started with the failure of the Karma Deflector, i.e. Debsoc's Only Way to Chaka Opponents Without Fear of Divine Punishment, since, after all, we are a very God-fearing society.

In place, we had to instate the Karma Chest by popular demand - because Anna "Good Girl" Arcellana was more frequently going into Elvira Mode and Raymund "Hunchback of Notre Dame of the Janggas" was, well, being himself.

And "because we are free market advocates" (Briguera, 2008), the system quickly turned into the Karma Credit \kred-ich\ so we could cap and trade and all sorts of economic-sounding things. And, also, because of my Pre-Tournament Drama That Shall Not Be Named, I had an overwhelming amount of positive Karma Credit on my side, I could, like, bail out everyone.

Alta, the New Grepa
Anyway, all our anti-bad karma methods were practically fruitless when it came to our choice of accommodations. To be fair, una naman kaming aamin na pinili namin ang pinaka-cheafaz na hotel possible dahil purita na kaming lahat. However, we didn't expect it to be that bad.

Unfortunately, the Alta Pension Inn was that bad. Noong una, akala ko kayang tiisin. After all, pag tumingin ka outside the window, kitang-kita mo ang billboard ni John Lloyd sa gilid ng Gaisano. However, hindi pa rin kinaya ng powers ni Lloydy ang challenges ng Alta.

For example, ang shower sa banyo, nasa taas ng kubeta, parang pwede kang umihi at maligo ng sabay.

Sa isang araw, nakapatay si PJ at Anna - hindi ng isa, hindi lang dalawa, kundi tatlong full-grown ipis!

Ang receptionist "mukhang adik" (Santos, 2008) kaya matatakot kang ibigay ang room keys niyo for housekeeping.

Kapag naging matapang ka naman at nagpalinis ka ng kwarto, pagbalik mo, amoy durian na ang lahat ng bagay. As in, nanunuot sa kumot, unan, kama at kung anu-ano pa. Parang may pumasok na durian sa kwarto mo at nagpagulung-gulong sa higaan mo para lang mang-asar.

"Sa Alta, bawat araw may bagong challenge. Bawat tao hahamunin ang alta... presyon" (Briguera, 2008). Lahat tayo, sumali sa Ultimate Alta Challenge, ang pinag-sama-samang Fear Factor, Amazing Race at Survivor!

In case you want to know, Aaron Chan and Clarisse Osteria were the first ones eliminated from the race. Chan was last seen phoning his father, saying "It looks like Quiapo here!" His excuse to us? Hindi daw siya makapag-concentrate on the championship in those conditions. Enpordat, the next day, they booked a room at the Marco Polo. Makalaglag-keller nalang.

(I don't blame them. Every night, after three grueling rounds of debate, whenever I remembered that I had to go home to our place, I kind of died a little inside.)

Duterte Death Squads
Anyway, Davao was still majorly fun. At first, we were kind of scared of going around because of the MILF violence, but we figured, if Duterte had death squads, why worry?

So, we went around to all the possible cheap, fried-chicken-grilled-seafood-ihaw-anything restaurants. We partied and drank our heads off after the finals night, as tradition dictated. And because we partied and drank our heads off, we ended up wandering around some side streets at about 5 in the morning.

We also ended up watching HSM 3 - "HSSSZZMM" (Zosa, 2008) - in NCCC for only P75! At dahil atat kaming lahat, kebs na kung naka-off na lahat ng escalator dahil last full show na ang inabutan namin. Lahat kami, tinakbo ang three flights of stairs to reach the cinemas.

Kat Usita: Friend, bakit tayo tumatakbo?
Jowee: High School Musical 'to, friend!

And we also headed to Samal Island on the last day. We have no tans to show for it because it was raining during our beach trip, but kebs. Basta masabi lang na nakapag-beach kami! At naglabasan na ang pagka-jologs ng Debsoc. Ang pinagkaguluhan sa beach? Ang paghanap sa Cirenea. At kung hindi ka makalangoy papunta dun, i-o-outcast ka bilang taga-lupa.

And my favorite soundbite while going around Davao?

After passing a Mt. Apo street sign...
Jowee: Manong, doon po ba ang papuntang Mt. Apo?
Taxi driver: Ay, hija, kalye lang yan.

Sure enough, sa next kanto, Mt. Mayon naman.

And then, everything else I can't be bothered narrating
All in all, I think this is the most fun tournament I've ever been to. I got hitched (I KNOW RIGHT), I got to the finals (but couldn't think up of a charot line to begin my speech with), I actually got to debate (THANKS, ALVIN), I got to the Masters semis and finals (my credibility's ultimate downfall) and most of all (or worst of all?), I got voted into the adj core for the Lyceum NDC.

So, it turns out, this isn't my last NDC. Dammit.

Priority: Graduating

Tue, 14 Oct 2008 16:49:22 GMT

My registration status pwns your registration status. I got - prepare for this, it's the miracle of all CRS miracles - Physics effin' 10.

The strange thing is, I got all my highly-demanded classes: Kraft's Pol Sci 180, Khan's J 117, Eliserio's PI 100.

But I didn't get my J 200 class.

My thesis class.

Where there are only around six people.

Life, oh life, you are funny.

*

Anyway, the shit has hit the fan. This isn't even about debate. I don't think I've ever felt a deeper sense of betrayal than this.

Suddenly, I miss my friends. Mimi, Elsie, Absie and Jali - let us all please hang out soon. I am in dire need of rescuing.

Mandatory Thoughtful Entry: Claire on the Identity Crisis

Sat, 11 Oct 2008 13:42:27 GMT

I find it really tough making profiles for myself in social networking sites because, really, how do you answer those little About Me boxes? "You know me" is a cop-out. Listing an entire list of things that are really about you is just self-centered because, well, people aren't that interested in reading it all anyway.

So, you have to find the nice little charming middle ground that says to your online stalkers, "Add me! Add me!"

Today, I tried to type in my profile for Facebook and I could only come up with:

"Likes football. And footballers. And their thighs."

And I was actually really satisfied with it.

Sometimes I worry I have become too shallow.

*

I've been getting the graduation blues lately and it's nice to know that no matter how quickly life changes around you, some things remain the same:

Wala pa ding tatalo sa Boyzone.

Shout-outs to coolness connoisseur Mimi for unearthing this gem of pop culture amazingness and spreading it to all people of equally cool caliber.

So, I named my thesis.

Thu, 28 Aug 2008 12:43:26 GMT

I named my thesis (c/o a certain Sam Lee) Maximus.

Maximus Thesis.

Diba? May nalalamang projection of amazingness and ambitiousness and so much win.

Maximus is totally my boyfriend until I graduate. Nararamdaman ko na kasing kailangang ibang level of love ang dapat ma-devote sa kaniya kung gusto kong hindi bumagsak or mapatay by, like, an unknown assailant through a drive-by shooting.

Anyway, true enough, kung kinikilig ako sa thesis ko a few weeks ago, ngayon hindi na. As in, napuntahan ko na ang libraries mula CSWCD to BA, amoy library na ko. At naakyat ko na din ang Main Lib to the nth level. Who knew na may University Archives and Records Department pala sa loob ng Main Lib? Ah-mazing.

Oh, and before I leave this topic, Maximus has a nickname. Maxxie. For when my thesis turns gay. Because god knows everyone turns gay after some time. No judgment.

*

Last week was another episode of Mabibigat Na Salita! And these quotable quotes have come from the strangest of circumstances, okay.

Like, while playing patintero. While our team was trash-talking and pretending to cross the line and Sir was the Butete of Doom.

Sir Martin: Sige, taunt ka lang ng taunt, mag-c-commit din yan!

Oh, and also while playing Pinoy Henyo.

Secret Word: Ermengarde
i.e. Debsoc's retarded expression for "omigod"

Riley: Is it a concept? Can it fit in my bag? Is it abstact? *GASP* IS IT LOVE??

And lastly, again, while playing Pinoy Henyo.

Secret Word: Grepa
i.e. All-around expression for poverty. Because Great Pacific became bankrupt. And because when you walk down an alley at night and you get held-up, and you're stabbed, gi-gripo dugo mo.

Bo: Is it a Debsoc expression?
Team: Yes! *points to BJ*
Bo: Jabar? Bading? GUIMARAS?
Team: No! *points to Jonjon*
Bo: ...Diyosa?

*

Oh noes, it's the dreaded Season of Graduation Pictures and Creative Shots and I need one so badly!

And it's super stressful because the plan for the CMC yearbook is to have the creative shot blown-up in your write-up, not the toga or sablay ones. Which means, Potential Embarrassment Twentimilyen Times!

I need a creative shot! HELP. But, like, no angel wings or jungle backgrounds, okay. No feather boas either. Yes, Mark Dantes. I'm looking at you.

Misnomers

Wed, 20 Aug 2008 17:46:13 GMT

I'm on this creative streak, so I'm in the middle of layouting this UPDS issue primer on the Bangsamoro Juridical Entity, but I needed images for it. So I typed "MILF" on my best friend, Google Images.

But I totally forgot that "MILF" also stands for "Mom I'd Like To Fuck." So, instead of rebel soldiers and the war in Mindanao, I got pictures of middle-aged American women in nothing but small aprons and kinky rubber gloves.

*

I just came back from Singapore yesterday and I loved it there! I'm sorry, colonial mentality na kung colonial mentality, pero shet, ang ganda doon. The urban planning was so neat and symmetrical and so logical. People walked or commuted instead of drove because there were actual sidewalks and their trains were extensive and drivers actually followed the traffic rules. And my favorite (and most shallow reason) is the fact that the difference isn't so jarring because, well, everybody's still Asian.

Pero, stress, Singapore is just too expensive for my grepaness. I remember walking down Orchard Road where we were staying and we passed by a mall named Isetan. But no, the shops there were Salvatore Ferregamo and Prada. Nainsulto ang Isetann ng Cubao.

Online Claire is still alive!

Mon, 11 Aug 2008 13:28:42 GMT

I finally got to watch A Very Special Love! And to the Sarah Geronimo doubters, do not fret. She plays the grepa role, so it's all natural and keri, it doesn't bring down the movie.

At hindi lang ako ang atat manood. Late kami nakarating sa The Block and we had to buy food pa in (the mega-slow) KFC, kaya we missed the first five minutes of the movie. Sa sobrang rush, nag-iwanan na kami as soon as nakuha namin ang kaniya-kaniyang order. Kebs nalang talaga sa iba.

At dahil lahat ng tickets, na kay Alistair, he had to wait for the slowpokes before he could enter the movie. Nakita palang niya si Paolo and Mark Batac from afar, ang ginawa ni gaga, iniwan ang tickets sa sahig at pumasok sa sinehan. Friendship? What's that?

Anyway, dahil Debsoc ang kasama ko, it made it doubly hard to focus on the movie. Like, during the heaviest, most tear-jerking moments, either Sir bursts out laughing or Jovan says something like, "Stress, hindi ako maka-focus sa tatay. Magkapareho sila ng mata ni Chad Osorio."

And Jonjon was the worst! Dahil siya ang natatanging #1 fan ni Sarah Geronimo, may pagka-competitive siya sa panonood.

Anarod: Shucks, ang galing umiyak ni John Lloyd.
Jonjon: Magaling din naman ako umiyak eh. Just give me a chance!

At nang nag-e-emo na si Sarah,

Jonjon: Feeling ko, sa'kin niya sinsabi yung mga lines niya.

Pero kadiri nalang talaga kung kadiri, pero bentang-benta talaga sa'kin ang mga linya ng movie. Excited na kong magamit siya in real life.

*

App-Mem Mini-Mock last Saturday and for the first time in the history of Debsoc Saturday Events, I was one of the first people to arrive. Sabi ko pa naman, late ako dadating dahil first event na hindi na ko TNT VP. But no, pagdating ko ng 7:30, kahit ang tournament director wala pa.

Hemingway, I'm glad to announce that I have finally bagged my first collegiate title evar. Team Yanga, Yanga, 'Di Kami Tanga is the mini-mock champion! ...Okay, I officially grossed myself out now. Two titles nalang, matatalo ko na ang record ni Jonjon as Mini-Mock Diyosa.

A big, big congratulations to my partners, Migs and Aze! Good job, guys. ♥

*

Alice, Carlo and I went to LA's birthday party after the App-Mem mini-mock. It was ~~slightly kind of awkward~~ really fun hanging out with some of the debate crowd there, like DLSU and Lyceum, but it was so strange too.

For one, the Mapua debaters were all boys and straight. Like, after dinner, they all headed inside to play video games. And Alice and I were all, if this were Debsoc, we would have watched a John Lloyd movie already. We tried to imagine Monic, Nash, Yang and even Riley being competitive with the Wii, but our brain sort of died laughing halfway.

*

Our thesis topic got approved! I don't think I've had a happier moment in my academic life. Especially since our first proposal got rejected, i.e. two months of hard work down the frickin' drain. Anyway, Elsie and I are really happy about our new topic. It feels clearer and more tangible, so keri lang.

It's just so hard to do thesis. It's like, even if the deadline is so far away and you technically don't have to start work yet, you just always have to devote every living, breathing moment to it. Stress.

But since it's just the start, medyo masaya pa naman siya. Actually, when Elsie and I started fixing Chapter 1, I was honestly just kilig over everything. Ika nga ni Els, parang pag-ibig ang thesis. Sa simula, kinikilig ka pa. Tsk, mabibigat na salita.

Tell me who your friends are...

Thu, 24 Jul 2008 14:44:51 GMT

And if they're not busy with thesis,

Bonggang-bongga ang kalandian ng stat messages nila. :P

If capitalism isn't your thing, you probably shouldn't read this.

Mon, 07 Jul 2008 13:54:07 GMT

Today, I had to get my glasses fixed in Glorietta because I dropped them again and they finally cracked. I left them in the optical store and had to wander around the mall for about an hour without them. At kung ang grado ng mata mo ay -325, that's practically like walking around blind. In all fairness to my powers though, nahanap ko pa rin ang Zara.

*

Sometimes, I think the most painful feeling in the world is to go inside a store and see all the clothes you once splurged on go 70% off. So, I briefly considered buying more of the sale items just to have my revenge on them, until I realized I was falling into the Zara Trap of Consumeristic Doom all over again.

*

Kath: Why'd you call?
Claire: I have a shopping emergency. I can't choose between two kinds of Keds. I need your common sense.
Kath: Why are you texting me for common sense? Get the red heels. They're basics!
Claire: You should stop being my friend. You're so bad for my bank account.
Kath: Adam Smith said money has no value until you buy something.
Claire: And who are we to question Adam Smith?

*

Rafael Nadal beat Roger Federer to win the Wimbledon title! Now he can have hang with fellow Spanish bud and football captain of greatness Iker Casillas and they can both be champions. ♥

Ang thesis, parang pag-ibig lang iyan.

Wed, 25 Jun 2008 14:18:23 GMT

Did you see that?

Debsoc will have a booth in CMC.

My worst nightmare has just come true.

*

I realized I can't blog anymore. Like, my brain won't function anymore. I'm taking CW 141 (Creative Nonfiction), and the first thing my professor lambasted were writers who were "pettily autobiographical." I'm petty and I really like writing about myself, so, yeah.

*

I wish I could say my majors or my Pol Sci and Socio electives are my favorite classes, but they're not. What I really, really, really love is Film 178 (Queer Cinema). Our professor is hilarious and the discussion is like Pan Pil 19 on crack.

Ma'am: What kinks depicted in the movie couldn't you accept?
Class: Ma'am, kadiri yung couples vomiting on each other.
Ma'am: Bakit? Bakit hindi natin matanggap ang dumi? Ang ihi? Ang suka? What makes dirt dirty?
Class: ...Whut.
Ma'am: Importante naman sa katawan natin ang dumi, ang ihi. We reject what gives us life!
Class: Ma'am, parang... love?

I'm sure there's a profound lesson here somewhere, but we're usually too retarded in class to notice.

*

I'm sure I don't really hate you. It's really just more of annoyance. Irritation. Or just motherfrickin' exasperation. But "hate" is so much shorter to type and it even has a netspeakz acronym. So: IHU.

PS: I secretly like netspeak. In my head, I talk like a 16 year-old girl on Myspace. ~~Forrealz.~~

*

UPDS 15th Anniversary Kickoff Party
Where: Alchemy, Pasig City
When: June 28, Saturday, 8 PM
How much: P450, inclusive of buffet dinner
What: CLAIRE'S TEST OF FRIENDSHIP!

Spanish Boys!

Sat, 14 Jun 2008 12:15:03 GMT

These are my boys from the Spanish National Team.

I'm sure this was supposed to be serious, but it really looks like a dance number in the making.

And then they stretch in pairs which is just really adorable.

But they're all really cute dorks, so it's all good. :P

The Man Who Fell Sideways

Mon, 19 May 2008 10:05:11 GMT

Me? Have too much time in the office? Pfft, of course not.

From XKCD.

Warning: this comic occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors).

For the love of all things holy, stop transferring me!

Mon, 12 May 2008 03:16:57 GMT

Hi, if you're my friend from Miriam College, I just want you to know, I hate your school right now.

Inquirer's doing an article on the tuition fees charged by different colleges and universities for this academic year, and I had to call up the schools to ask about the costs.

And so, the misadventure happens:
1. Claire calls Registrar. They don't know what the exact amount is.
2. Claire calls Accounting Office. They don't know either.
3. Claire gets transferred to the Student Accounts, but the girl who picks up says it's the Records department and could only estimate upon hearsay that tuition was around P40K to P45K. Okay, fine.
4. Claire calls trunk line and asks for the Admissions Office. The Security department picks up.

WTF, world? And for something as basic as the cost per frickin' unit?

Don't worry, Miriam, you're not alone in my bubble of hate right now. I called San Beda College and this creepy automated voice greets every single call with a "Peace be with you." I wanted to reply, "God?"

Tongues

Sun, 11 May 2008 17:57:20 GMT

Whoever says that English is the universal language should have seen me and my family trying to survive Eastern Europe. Sabi nga ni Bob Ong, kapag nagsalita ka ng German, parang halos lumabag ka ng karapatang pantao.

Now, I think I've picked up a few handy words while traveling. Strangely enough, I measure my newfound multilingual vocabulary through my translations of the word "exit," well, because getting lost and trapped in a foreign country = not much fun.

So, off the top of my head:
"Ausgang" in German
"Uscita" in Italian
"Sortie" in French
"Salida" in Spanish

But in Polish, it's "wyjscie."

I mean, seriously, a word of such utter importance should not be allowed to have five consecutive consonants.

I also picked up other words that are just as crucial to any girl's trip abroad: "slezky" means sale. (Obviously, my dad wasn't very happy when my sisters and I worked out this translation.)

And "mycia twarzy" is, er, foaming facial wash. Or so I hope. I forgot to bring mine so we had to raid their drug stores and couldn't understand the labels on anything. "Mycia twarzy" had better be facial wash because if it's not, well, I don't know what I've been using on my face these past three weeks.

Oh, and I also learned a good deal of German, like, "guten morgen" means good morning, "fruhstuck" means breakfast and "huhnchen" means chicken. Methinks that's a brilliant piece of street-smartness because if ever I got stranded in Germany, it means I could at least order fried chicken for breakfast. Politely.

On a really non-related note, Polish McDonalds is made of so much win. I ordered a Happy Meal (because the box was decorated with football players, not because of the free toy, promise) and they gave away apples along with the free Pucca stamps. Amazing.

So, while you're clogging your arteries with chicken nuggets, french fries and that Coke you really shouldn't have supersized, you really shouldn't feel guilty because you're getting a good ol' dose of Vitamin A anyway.

Wed, 16 Apr 2008 10:15:09 GMT

So, it's internship season. At the risk of sounding like an old fuddy-duddy, work is killing me.

JM and I are working for the Inquirer this summer, covering the Quezon City police beat with an assigned reporter.

The police beat has been... intersting. In my very first day of work, the Quezon City Police District had just finished a raid on a couple of bars and night clubs. So when we got to Camp Karingal, there were 50 or so girls my age rescued from their work as entertainers and sex toys laid out on the table. Woot, culture shock much?

Anyway, after a bajillion tries, I finally got published a couple of days ago and then once again yesterday, with JM. Not surprisingly, we were published after we covered incidents related to celebrities.

Years from now, I will look back and remember that my career as a journalist formally started when Nino Muhlach hit a taxi along the intersection of Panay Avenue and Dr. Garcia Avenue.

And my publication spree continued, when I wrote about Tito Sotto's house getting burglarized. JM also got off the mark when he made a write-up of Mickey Ferriols' parents getting into a fight after a traffic altercation.

Sigh. So many celebrity mishaps, so little time. On my way to journalism superstardom.

But, the problem is, the police beat is only around eight hours a day and that's not enough if we want to complete our 150 hours by the May 14 deadline. After fixing our schedule with Mr. Yambot, we managed to get a second assignment with Inquirer Research.

So, in the first half of the day, we're running around Quezon City police stations and right after we email our stories, we commute all the way to Makati to help out in the office.

Effectively, we're working from 9 AM to 9 PM. 12-hour shifts. I must be breaking a labor law or something.

But it's all worth it because that means I can go on vacation without worrying if I can complete my Journalism 198 requirements.

April 19 to May 7.

Hi, Eastern Europe. I know nothing about you other than, er, Hungarian sausages, the Holocaust and men with gorgeous cheekbones.

Although I am hoping I can get a Martin Skrtel jersey in Slovakia, catch a Bundesliga game in Germany and see the Euro 2008 preparations in Austria. --Obviously, I learn geography through football.

I am the game.

Thu, 10 Apr 2008 14:34:31 GMT

Ermen-frickin'-garde. It's so hot. And not in a good way.

Okay, now that we have started the blog entry with a mandatory ditz moment, we can now commence with the real news.

PIDC 2008 is done!

(For my non-debate friends, this is a the national debate tournament or, as Barny calls it, "the hot nerd convention.")

I really can't remember the rounds anymore. I can't even remember any motion or adjudicator decision. ~~Okay, I slightly remember crying twice, but I'm trying to forget that because it's pathetic. Really, debate and public breakdowns are just bad combinations.~~

All I remember is break night. Prince of Jaipur with their orange meat (which looks very scary when chucked up, ask Jowee's bag). And open bar with that spawn of the devil Ginebra which tasted like Sprite until five glasses later and you're wasted.

(Wasted, like, six-people-carrying-unconscious-girl-to-the-bathroom kind of wasted. Also, possibly, girl-missing-for-hours-only-to-be-found-passed-out-on-the-toilet kind of wasted. And for even greater effect GA-is-canceled-because-everyone-has-fallen-to-the-grass-throwing-up kind of wasted. It's like Gossip Girl, only in a geeky, uncool, debate sort of way.)

And can I just say, it's really true. Those infamous Drunk Norman tales you hear? They're all true. And it's not just in the "Joel, you're the bomb!" level. It's on a whole new "The adj core is here! I'm shyyy." level.

Good thing I had the foresight to not bring a car because, really, if I drove home that night, I would be dead. As in, parang, Jesus Take The Wheel. Not that going home with Carlo was any safer. I remember waking up and he was lost, and we were on the SLEX almost heading to Tagaytay.

Oh, yeah. One thing I also remember other than break night is Championship Dinner. Just because I worked so hard to get myself one of those pretty yellow International Herald Tribune notebooks. And when I finally got a prize, I got a Nestle package instead. Hello? Koko Krunch and Nescafe 3-in-1 or IHT notebook?

Anyway, the debate side is pfft.

Okay, fine, so we lost two elimination rounds. At masakit pa rin siya sa damdamin. Choz. Dahil sabi nga ni Nicolo, we were being "complacent." But whatever, angst is bad and we have enough issues in the world. Past is past, you're dead to me dapat ang drama.

But, we made it to semis anyway. I'm just a bit sad that we couldn't go farther and represent UP Diliman in the finals.

UPD A. I've been told this is the Claire face. I'm slightly depressed by that.

So, to my wunnerful teammates, Jobet "I have a sex position to go with that rebuttal" Atienza and Tet "I'll pull another great argument out of my ass" Grajo, thanks for a great, great run. ♥ Next tournament, I propose getting drunk every night since, apparently, debating with hangovers is good for us.

And of course, congratulations to the entire UP Debate Society! The BOD has been working impossibly hard to make this tournament ~~profitable~~ happen. The entire contingent--debaters and adjudicators--have been training their asses off for the past months. And the organizers have been amazing in running and tabbing and screaming over walkie-talkies.

Can't live with them, can't live without them.

Le sigh. What else can you say about this society? They'll get wasted with you and make sure you get home safe. They'll hide you from the other contingents when you're crying your head off. They'll march to the Ang Bahay ng Alumni proudly singing the (horrible, ungrammatical, insensible) Debsoc Hymn. And two losses down, backs to the wall, they'll kick ass and grab the game by the scuff of its neck. And when every team is eliminated, they'll still have the gall to sing "We Are The Champions" out loud when, well, we're not. ♥

All pictures are from Jonats

Twenimilyen Dork Points

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 07:12:29 GMT

My brother recently discovered BitTorrent, and since he's a lucky fucker and Ateneo let classes out as early as Feb 28, he's been doing nothing but download movies all vacation long.

And the films he's watching aren't even trashy teenage movies (which I totally prefer--hello, I loved Step Up 2). This morning, he was watching The Bicycle Thief. I hadn't even heard of that movie until we discussed it for Italian Neo-Realism in Film 100.

...How depressing is it that my 16 year-old brother has more culture than me?

My brain is so sabaw from finals week. I was half-asleep when I went down to the kitchen last night to get a glass of water, and I didn't bother to switch on the lightsended up walking right smack into the refrigerator.

Apparently, my mother had this brilliant idea to buy a new ref and reorganize the kitchen around it. It was so jarring, I couldn't even find the water dispenser. So, I gave up and went to bed thirsty. :(

Oh oh oh. And! I was so sabaw when my dad called up the other night. He's in Sydney for a business trip and he was making kwento about his meetings, chever chever. And then I suddenly asked, "So, have you seen any kangaroos?" My dad paused and he was like, "Uh, not in the city, darling." *facepalm*

Then, he was asking me what I was up to since both my parents weren't home. I made a joke that I was holding a really wild party while they were gone. And then he just laughed this kind of patronizing oh-my-poor-daughter-has-imaginary-friends laugh because he was sure I wasn't cool enough to do that. I mean, hello, I've been locked up at home studying.

So, my dad thinks I'm retarded and pathetic. I fail.

On Academic Steroids

Mon, 24 Mar 2008 15:41:17 GMT

In all fairness, my productivity this past week has astounded me. And now, I'm using free time to get some work done on my publication for J 122. Can anyone tell me why I'm a responsible student after classes are done?

I've been working on one page of my magazine for the past two hours. Wafaz talaga. Now, I have a publication with a grand total of... one page. I win!

My eyes hurt already and I keep getting so OC moving those tiny lines and aligning the words and the pictures and making sure everything ends in even columns and all the elements are arranged with spaces divisible by 0.025 inches. Pagemaker is the creation of the devil.

I'm heading to the Inquirer office tomorrow because Mr Yambot wants a meeting with us. Ohai, internship, I can ignore you no longer! Dum-dee-dum. I should have had that realization earlier. Maybe that way, I could have possibly remembered to enroll for summer.

So, grand plan:
Take the Econ finals. Take the Pol Sci finals. Submit my magazine. Submit my corporate write-up. Debate in CSB IVs. Debate in Adjitate. Debate in PIDC. Enroll for summer. Slave away in Inquirer.

Did anyone say "vacation"?

Ditzes

Tue, 18 Mar 2008 13:07:08 GMT

To be fair, we were both brain-dead because of school.

Sam: We have a report tomorrow on participatory communication, so we're all gonna channel Steve from Blue's Clues.
Claire: Or or or channel Karol Yee version of campaigning with wide, googly eyes and eager smile!
Sam: It's like RTR Episode 2!

RTR = room-to-room campaigning

*

Claire: Duuude, I didn't know Leona Lewis was black.
Sam: Yeah, she's black sometimes.
Claire: Like Beyonce?
Sam: Like Barack Obama!

*

Sam: dya go to mass com today??
Sam: what is up with our new door okay???
Claire: OMIGOD HELLO I KNOW
Claire: i was like, running into cmc because i had a term paper crammed and i had like, ten seconds til the dept closed
Claire: and then hello potted plants blocking my friggin way

*

Claire: Shit, I didn't buy the apple belt. I WANT IT! But my dad threatened to disown me when he saw it.
Sam: Why did your dad not get you the apple belt?
Claire: He just kind of gave me the look that said 'why is my daughter retarded?' so I kind of dropped the topic.
Sam: I know that look! It's the same look my mother gave me at dinner kanina when I was trying to cut the meatloaf with the not sharp side of the knife...
Sam: How am i supposed to know which side is sharp???

Num num num. Back to work.

Woe is me.

Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:13:41 GMT

All is well in the football world. We've started winning in the Premiership again. We progressed to the last eight in the Champions League. Fernando Torres is still hot and amazing (to the point that Carl is gay for him).

Until this:

So, Mancs in the Old Toilet, Bitters at Anfield and Arsenal thrice in a row? ...Arianne, hindi muna tayo friends.

Edit:
Daniel Agger has undergone surgery and is out for the rest of the season. Stupid meta-fucking-tarsal. This is too much trouble for a tiny bone in the foot. Good thing Squirtel is doing well and still looks like he could eat babies for breakfast. Numnum.

"ONE, you're like a dream come true." - Mark Dantes

Mon, 03 Mar 2008 14:32:40 GMT

A lot of people keep asking me why I ran this student council elections. Time and again, I answered the same thing: I love this party and I believe in what we defend.

I'm a nervous wreck. This afternoon, I was in my happy little bubble because Jali and I went splurging today at the parlor then at Teriyaki Boy. But I go online, and you just can't ignore everyone's blog posts about the miting de avance, their votes, their slate posters and their commentaries.

I think this has got to be the worst week of my life: the preparation, the stress, the judgment, the potshots that I'm thisclose to confronting if it weren't for Chris and Karol's words of Zen wisdom.

Okay, maybe not the worst week. I think that week in Debsoc still pretty much gets that award.

But at the same time, it's still the best: the well-practiced skill of car-stuffing, the Chowking invasion, the late nights and overnights, the Bacchus, the communal C2 and Coke Zero and the slogan t-shirt so awesome, I've worn in thrice in the span of a week.

ISA. This has got to be the best thing that's happened to my college life. Whatever happens, Mallory > all. ♥

And because I've been dying for the chance to quote this man:

"Don't let your heads drop... Believe you can do it and you will. Give yourselves the chance to be heroes."

- Rafael Benitez, manager, Liverpool FC
Half-time, Champions League 2005, Istanbul

The End of the Campaign: Lesson Learned

Thu, 28 Feb 2008 14:35:46 GMT

I've given a hell of a lot of speeches in my life.

But nothing compares to this:

Photo taken by the best one-man campaign team: Chris Ng.