In my head, my life is like Baler.

"Ang hirap. Ang hirap-hirap" (Curtis, 2008).

Bakit ba hindi pwedeng mag-graduate nalang ako? Matapos ng college at magtrabaho? Bakit ba may naimbento pang thesis?

Thesis is like, this... this thing hanging over your head and you just can't stop fussing about it, and you open the file on your desktop and you just stare at it blankly and edit punctuation marks and a couple of words but you can never really start.

We have to overhaul our RRL, restart our theoretical framework, edit the methodology, then write interview letters and send them out to our sources and literally beg them to give us a scoop somewhere in between their Christmas break and normal, working lives.

Oh, and then we have to write a three-part series fit for publication, whore it to a newspaper and/or convert back to Christianity and offer a novena and eggs to a holy figure so we get published.

I am way behind schedule, it's so frightening. And for once, I absolutely cannot be late (I know, right) because, well, the consequence is not graduating. And I cannot not graduate on time APSDOIAPSIDRPWEIPIWEDQA, I am made of so much fail.

I think this is the reason why I have been drinking too much this year. (I can now say that Raymund has made me a moderator on the Tomato Kick Drunkards Fezbook group).

Okay, this is where I end my Senior Moment outburst, dahil kailangan "strong woman ka" (Zosa, 2008).

Dahil ang sagot nga naman ni Jericho Rosales (2008) sa quote ni Anne Curtis sa itaas ay: "Kayanin mo, Felisa, para kayanin ko din."

Tangkilikin po natin ang pelikulang Filipino. Bow.

I named my thesis (c/o a certain Sam Lee) Maximus.

Maximus Thesis.

Diba? May nalalamang projection of amazingness and ambitiousness and so much win.

Maximus is totally my boyfriend until I graduate. Nararamdaman ko na kasing kailangang ibang level of love ang dapat ma-devote sa kaniya kung gusto kong hindi bumagsak or mapatay by, like, an unknown assailant through a drive-by shooting.

Anyway, true enough, kung kinikilig ako sa thesis ko a few weeks ago, ngayon hindi na. As in, napuntahan ko na ang libraries mula CSWCD to BA, amoy library na ko. At naakyat ko na din ang Main Lib to the nth level. Who knew na may University Archives and Records Department pala sa loob ng Main Lib? Ah-mazing.

Oh, and before I leave this topic, Maximus has a nickname. Maxxie. For when my thesis turns gay. Because god knows everyone turns gay after some time. No judgment.

*

Last week was another episode of Mabibigat Na Salita! And these quotable quotes have come from the strangest of circumstances, okay.

Like, while playing patintero. While our team was trash-talking and pretending to cross the line and Sir was the Butete of Doom.

Sir Martin: Sige, taunt ka lang ng taunt, mag-c-commit din yan!

Oh, and also while playing Pinoy Henyo.

Secret Word: Ermengarde
i.e. Debsoc's retarded expression for "omigod"

Riley: Is it a concept? Can it fit in my bag? Is it abstact? *GASP* IS IT LOVE??

And lastly, again, while playing Pinoy Henyo.

Secret Word: Grepa
i.e. All-around expression for poverty. Because Great Pacific became bankrupt. And because when you walk down an alley at night and you get held-up, and you're stabbed, gi-gripo dugo mo.

Bo: Is it a Debsoc expression?
Team: Yes! *points to BJ*
Bo: Jabar? Bading? GUIMARAS?
Team: No! *points to Jonjon*
Bo: ...Diyosa?

*

Oh noes, it's the dreaded Season of Graduation Pictures and Creative Shots and I need one so badly!

And it's super stressful because the plan for the CMC yearbook is to have the creative shot blown-up in your write-up, not the toga or sablay ones. Which means, Potential Embarrassment Twentimilyen Times!

I need a creative shot! HELP. But, like, no angel wings or jungle backgrounds, okay. No feather boas either. Yes, Mark Dantes. I'm looking at you.

I finally got to watch A Very Special Love! And to the Sarah Geronimo doubters, do not fret. She plays the grepa role, so it's all natural and keri, it doesn't bring down the movie.

At hindi lang ako ang atat manood. Late kami nakarating sa The Block and we had to buy food pa in (the mega-slow) KFC, kaya we missed the first five minutes of the movie. Sa sobrang rush, nag-iwanan na kami as soon as nakuha namin ang kaniya-kaniyang order. Kebs nalang talaga sa iba.

At dahil lahat ng tickets, na kay Alistair, he had to wait for the slowpokes before he could enter the movie. Nakita palang niya si Paolo and Mark Batac from afar, ang ginawa ni gaga, iniwan ang tickets sa sahig at pumasok sa sinehan. Friendship? What's that?

Anyway, dahil Debsoc ang kasama ko, it made it doubly hard to focus on the movie. Like, during the heaviest, most tear-jerking moments, either Sir bursts out laughing or Jovan says something like, "Stress, hindi ako maka-focus sa tatay. Magkapareho sila ng mata ni Chad Osorio."

And Jonjon was the worst! Dahil siya ang natatanging #1 fan ni Sarah Geronimo, may pagka-competitive siya sa panonood.

Anarod: Shucks, ang galing umiyak ni John Lloyd.
Jonjon: Magaling din naman ako umiyak eh. Just give me a chance!

At nang nag-e-emo na si Sarah,

Jonjon: Feeling ko, sa'kin niya sinsabi yung mga lines niya.

Pero kadiri nalang talaga kung kadiri, pero bentang-benta talaga sa'kin ang mga linya ng movie. Excited na kong magamit siya in real life.

*

App-Mem Mini-Mock last Saturday and for the first time in the history of Debsoc Saturday Events, I was one of the first people to arrive. Sabi ko pa naman, late ako dadating dahil first event na hindi na ko TNT VP. But no, pagdating ko ng 7:30, kahit ang tournament director wala pa.

Hemingway, I'm glad to announce that I have finally bagged my first collegiate title evar. Team Yanga, Yanga, 'Di Kami Tanga is the mini-mock champion! ...Okay, I officially grossed myself out now. Two titles nalang, matatalo ko na ang record ni Jonjon as Mini-Mock Diyosa.

A big, big congratulations to my partners, Migs and Aze! Good job, guys. ♥

*

Alice, Carlo and I went to LA's birthday party after the App-Mem mini-mock. It was slightly kind of awkward really fun hanging out with some of the debate crowd there, like DLSU and Lyceum, but it was so strange too.

For one, the Mapua debaters were all boys and straight. Like, after dinner, they all headed inside to play video games. And Alice and I were all, if this were Debsoc, we would have watched a John Lloyd movie already. We tried to imagine Monic, Nash, Yang and even Riley being competitive with the Wii, but our brain sort of died laughing halfway.

*

Our thesis topic got approved! I don't think I've had a happier moment in my academic life. Especially since our first proposal got rejected, i.e. two months of hard work down the frickin' drain. Anyway, Elsie and I are really happy about our new topic. It feels clearer and more tangible, so keri lang.

It's just so hard to do thesis. It's like, even if the deadline is so far away and you technically don't have to start work yet, you just always have to devote every living, breathing moment to it. Stress.

But since it's just the start, medyo masaya pa naman siya. Actually, when Elsie and I started fixing Chapter 1, I was honestly just kilig over everything. Ika nga ni Els, parang pag-ibig ang thesis. Sa simula, kinikilig ka pa. Tsk, mabibigat na salita.